Wednesday, May 20, 2009
The other night as I was rocking Mason, the house was quiet for everyone else was asleep, and just enough moonlight was shining in through our window so that I could watch my baby relax in my arms.
I began to cry as I thought about how absolutely beautiful he is on the outside, but yet so broken and sick on the inside. I feel honored to be his Mother and to be given the chance to care for him, but yet it breaks my heart to even imagine life without him. I feel blessed each day we have him here in our home but yet want to see him grow and enjoy life as other children do. I know some children w/ HLHS grow to adulthood but have seen others become Angels in Heaven before even becoming a toddler. Some days, as I get caught in the hustle and bustle of life (well, before we got re-attached to this 50 foot oxygen cord) I forget for a few minutes about his broken heart because he looks so normal and is always so happy and smiley! But, not a night has gone by since he was born, that I don't wake up startled and afraid that maybe my Miracle Mason has stopped breathing and his broken heart has taken him Home. I pray each day for Mason's heart to function better and that he can have many more days and years w/ us here on earth.
Mason, you are my strength and peace in life. May our dear Heavenly Father leave you here with me for a long time to come!!!