Wednesday, May 20, 2009

True Emotions

The other night as I was rocking Mason, the house was quiet for everyone else was asleep, and just enough moonlight was shining in through our window so that I could watch my baby relax in my arms.
I began to cry as I thought about how absolutely beautiful he is on the outside, but yet so broken and sick on the inside. I feel honored to be his Mother and to be given the chance to care for him, but yet it breaks my heart to even imagine life without him. I feel blessed each day we have him here in our home but yet want to see him grow and enjoy life as other children do. I know some children w/ HLHS grow to adulthood but have seen others become Angels in Heaven before even becoming a toddler. Some days, as I get caught in the hustle and bustle of life (well, before we got re-attached to this 50 foot oxygen cord) I forget for a few minutes about his broken heart because he looks so normal and is always so happy and smiley! But, not a night has gone by since he was born, that I don't wake up startled and afraid that maybe my Miracle Mason has stopped breathing and his broken heart has taken him Home. I pray each day for Mason's heart to function better and that he can have many more days and years w/ us here on earth.

Mason, you are my strength and peace in life. May our dear Heavenly Father leave you here with me for a long time to come!!!


Kyle and Alli said...

These are indeed true emotions. I think I am just beginning my journey of sleepless night of checking and touching him to make sure I still feel his heart beat. I sure hope little Miracle Mason Man is around for many more nights to come. What a cutie!

♥ Michele ♥ said...

Oh, I hope for that too. Mason is such a cutie. Thank you so much for taking time out of your busy schedule to think about me and stop by. It was so good to see you. You are such a thoughtful person. Thinking of you....take care.

Lflinders said...

I do not know you but your words have truly touched my heart. I have 3 children of my own & i cant imagine what you are going through. Thanks for your words; showing how not to take things for granted in life. I hope & pray for your family & little mason.

Evie's Story said...

Found your blog through a mutual friend. Will certainly keep your sweet boy in prayer...these little sweethearts are dear to me. Our daughter Evie is a transposition of the Great Arteries baby. Can relate to so much of what you are going through.

Oh and I see you have five too. We are blessed with switched genders...four daughters and a son:-)


Steve and Katie Hoffman said...


What a sweet post. I love you so much and still look up to you so much! You are an amazing mother. Mason is so lucky to have you. He truly is a miracle.


Katie Lady